Monday, October 15, 2012

I am not ashamed

You will see how desperately full of sin I am, but how I have been cleansed and renewed by the Holy Spirit. Although I still stumble, and I still fall into temptation I know I am forgiven and I strive to live for Him. I have been saved by God's grace and nothing can ever take that from me. (John 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.)
I live by faith alone and although my journey isn't easy, I will press foreward and run the race (1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.)
I have walked through many trials that brought me to the lowest places, but the Lord has blessed me and has always brought me through them. There have been times when I questioned my salvation because of the sin that clouded my life.  I wondered how God could love a sinner such as me, and that is something I still wonder every day. That is why God's grace is so amazing. We don't deserve His love for us, yet He sent his son to die for our sins and now we can be assured that one day we will be in Heaven with Him.
There were times I would ask how God could be real when I was so unhappy and felt so alone. He didn't leave me, He was always at my side, but I took my focus off of Him and allowed my life to become centered on the things of the world. I would question if I was ever really saved at all because the sins I was committing were to great to come from a Christian. Then I was told the story of David, the King who committed adultery and murder, yet he was saved and a follower of Christ. No matter how great the sin we can't lose our salvation. (John 10:27-29  My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.) I know that I was saved and the Holy Spirit lives inside of me, but I got caught up in the things of the world and caught in the devils lies.
For years I have delt on and off with this feeling of depression. It felt like there was this unexplained hole inside of me and I wasn't happy. I knew I was saved, and I knew the way I was living was wrong, but the devil deceived me and made me believe that worldly things would make me happy. My heart was struggling to fall back into that old way of sinful living. The more unhappy I was the more I sinned to find joy, and the more I sinned to find joy the more unhappy I became. It was a vicious circle. I wasn't turning to God and asking Him for the strength and joy in him, I just kept trying to do it on my own.
As I have grown as a Christian, and really made the Lord my anchor, I know that I have to continually preach myself the gospel and meditate on the good things or I will be dragged down by my flesh (Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.)
I now strive to please Him every day. I want to live every day as if Christ died this morning, rose at noon and is coming back for me tonight. Pleasing Him is what truly brings me joy. I can't find that anywhere else, and despite the struggles that each day may bring I know He gives me strength to do all things. (Philippians 4:13)

So here we go. This blog is devoted to every day life. It is a place I will share my thoughts, struggles and achievments as I fight the good fight of faith. (1 Timothy 6:12)
I can never do this on my own. Every breath I breathe comes from the one who made me.
I am not very good at writing and probably not very interesting, but this is where I will chronicle my journey as an unashamed believer of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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