Every time I sin I know I am sinning. I hate the fact that I do the same things over and over and over, and I want to stop. I want to change. I don't want to be doing these things, but every time I feel like I defeated this temptation the devil just throws more temptation in my way and I fall into that snare again. I know we are called to hide God's word in our heart so we may not sin against Him.( Psalm 119:11)
The problem is, everything I have said, is about me. The word being used is I. When it comes down to it, it's not about me. I will never be able to do this on my own. I can never change on my own. I can never defeat temptation on my own, and it's so frustrated.
All that I can do is keep praying the Lord will take this temptation from me and help me to fight it when I am presented with these trials. I have not prepared myself for when trials strike, so the devil drags me down.
I get so angry at myself because I keep falling into the same sins and when I am doing it I know it's sin, and I don't want to do it but I do. It really brings me down because I am such a disgusting, filthy sinner and I wonder how I can even call myself a Christian. How can I say I am a follower of Christ when I do these awful things that breaks my Heavenly Father's heart.
In moment's like these I remember, I am undeserving. There is no way that I should be going to Heaven, because I deserve to spend my eternity in Hell. These are the moment's I need to preach the gospel to myself. I have been saved by GRACE. Christ was the PROPITIATION (wrath absorbing substitute) for my sin. I am completely undeserving of Heaven but Christ's blood covers me and all my sins are washed away and God see's me as pure and perfect despite my natural sin nature. I just need to repent and turn away from my sins
So I will keep reminding myself the wonderful promise our Father gives to us.
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in
your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
I have been saved
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.
My salvation can never be taken from me
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing can separate me from my Heavenly Father.
2 Peter 1:4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
God promises us we will escape the corruptions of our earthly desires and be in Heaven with Him.
"Lord every day I'm fighting a war to flee from it all, until I am free from it all." ~116 Clique